DeadInside/437 Mar 2nd
So... no updates from me lately, mostly because I haven't been in much of the mood to write. Sorry about that.

From where we left off before, hm... to be honest, my life is not much better, and is in fact worse. My pet and I have no contact, which I have grown to accept... and in all honesty, I don't even consider him to *be* my pet anymore.

He clearly does not take this sort of relationship seriously, so I see no reason to keep him. *Shrugs* It is a waste of my time. Especially considering that he has a boyfriend now (without asking for my permission beforehand... a major no-no if you're already owned). Faggot.

That aside, my own boyfriend has begun to stop talking to me, too... and I'm starting to think that he doesn't love me at all, to be quite frank. He says 'I really love you' on the rare occasions that we *do* speak, and acts all frantic when I bring the subject up, but... really, I think I am just his crutch.

A crutch he no longer needs, but can't bother to drop (so to say) and stop using. It's depressing, and I think about it often. But so is life... I really do hope that he loves me. I say he uses me as a crutch, and that I don't think he loves me, but... I love him, and I do still want to be in this relationship with him.

I just don't want it to be fake 'just for me'... especially if he's seeing another girlfriend behind my back. You know? I'm not even the jealous type, generally... but that concept is offensive to me.

And in general, I've been extremely cold (physically and emotionally), depressive, and lethargic, with no outward source (though the aforementioned things may have a part in it)... ho-hum.

In slightly less depressing news, a new friend of mine introduced me to a new band I like the other day, called Khanate... I highly reccomend them to anyone that likes doom metal, or minimalistic metal in general. You can see the music video for one of their songs (Dead) here; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2Ag4B4m0Cs

That's all for now, but... there is probably more in the future. I will, of course, let you all know if I do decide to off myself. Hehe.
Farewell ~